Before I became a Mama, I was told so many things about how hard it would be, what I would feel like physically, what I’d have to let go of and the life I could kiss goodbye. Lots of advice, some helpful, some not. (Enough though, to make me not offer any unless asked…whole other post.)
Now 8 and half months on, I look back at those words given to me and wonder why no one told me how I’d love Addison so much it hurts, how I would lay down my life for her and that once the fuzzy daze of the early days passes, you couldn’t imagine life without them. I wonder if other parents find the news hard to watch when a story of a missing child comes on? I wonder if I’ll ever be able to watch TV shows without picturing us in the scenario? Motherhood has sharpened and intensified my feelings, that’s for sure.
But you know, I kinda understand why no one really tells you about these things before the baby arrives. You have to find them out for yourself, they are just, implied. And once you do, you suddenly remember that yes, I guess people do talk about it, only you don’t hear. And you don’t hear because before that baby arrives on the outside, you can’t possibly understand what it is to feel this way. It simply isn’t relevant to you. Yet.
It is only now as a parent that I truly understand and know, how much my parents love me. It is this love that makes parents go mental when you get lost at the shops or run across a road. Once you’re here, you’re here; and you are irreplaceable.
Never forget that.
Yesterday I took Addison to the park. I pushed her on the swing and watched her laugh in delight. And on our way home as I picked her up to put her in the pram, she put her hand on my cheek and said, Mama. And in that moment, I knew that I was exactly where I am supposed to be in my life. I am complete.
I love you Addison Grace. To the moon and back.
I always blog on Tuesdays!