It’s freestyle week in the Lounge and I’m feeling thoughtful.
I have come to accept that I despite wanting to, I am never going to be a surfer chick. I am too afraid of getting eaten by Jaws. And trust me, if anyone is going to get eviscerated by a shark, it’s going to be me. Plus I hate the beach.
I am never, ever going to like brown rice. It’s disgusting. It might be good for you but it’s disgusting. And someone is going to come on here and comment that actually it’s lovely and so good for you when actually it’s just, disgusting. And so because I don’t like brown rice I am never, ever going to be a size 0. Which means I won’t ever be Miss Universe. I will never sashay down the runway in front of Donald Trump and some D list celeb judges proclaiming that I love the world and brown rice. But it’s OK because I don’t want to have to get waxed to within an inch of my life and sticky tape my costume to my boobs so it doesn’t fall off. Plus I don’t want to smear Vaseline on my teeth to get that perfect smile.
I am never going to go on a spiritual journey to India and I am never going to backpack around the world. That’s OK. I suck at meditation and also have a very weak core and would fall flat on my face if someone strapped one of those bastards to me. I would rather go to Disneyland again. And stay in a hotel. With room service.
I am never, ever going to enjoy antique shopping or perusing art galleries. I am never going to prefer foreign films to horror movies and I will never enjoy gatherings of pompous people pretending to be grown ups. As a result I’ll never be on the society pages. Big M’eh.
I am almost 100% certain I am never going to give birth naturally. My fate is c-sections. I am fine with this. I will never, ever understand why some people aren’t though.
Do you ever think about the things you’ll never do? Are you at peace with this?