99 Problems… {Again? Really?}

Another Monday rolls around and I’ve decided to sign up for another weight loss program. I know, I know; what’s the point right? I’ve done them all and they all inevitably fail. Well, I fail to be exact. The thing is, I realised on the weekend that I truly have no intrinsic desire to lose weight. I am not insecure about who I am and what I present to the world. I am who I am. Those who like me, do and those who don’t, don’t. So of course I set myself up for failure because I never truly commit to any of these programs. Why would I when I don’t really care if they work or not? Am I down on my looks? Sure am. But it’s not a strong enough feeling to make me push for change. It gets me fired up initially but burns out about a week or 2 later. When it comes to food and exercise, I am lazy as fuck. Sorry for the swears, but it’s damn well true.
And there is a big however. I am not altogether healthy. I struggle walking up steep stairs and my skin is breaking down due to sugar related excema. I am probably pre-diabetic and my digestive system is very unwell. Not good. The worst part is, I am this unhealthy and I have a child. Someone who relies on me to be healthy; to be well and fit. One day last week I almost tripped carrying Smushy up the stairs as my poor knee gave way. Why? Because the combined weight of me and her, plus my old ballet injuries have done it in. It never bothered me before. Now I hurt, I hurt all over. I am so weighed down physically and emotionally by this excess baggage. It will kill me, I know this. And I do not want to miss out on her life because I’m sick or dead. It sounds extreme but it happens.
I have to do this, I have to lose weight for Addison. If I can’t be my motivation, then it has to be for her. And for Spouse too. He loves me no matter what, but I want him to see me achieve this one change.
So what did I sign up for? 
Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation. 
It came highly recommended by a close friend who’s had amazing results. I’ve also had loads of other good feedback about it and I quite like the whole measured, planned out, step by step business of it. Plus I’m hoping Bridges will bring the Commando to the finale party.
Will it work? Time will tell. I have nothing left to lose anymore. I don’t care about people’s reactions to me embarking on another program. I have all the necessary tools, and healthy foods stocked up. The pram is ready to go for walks and Spouse is on board for my alone exercise times. I am ready, wish me luck. Because bloody hell, I’m gonna need it.
PS…I wanted to quickly tell you, pals and gals, that Listen Sookie is going back to the grassroots of Mez. I am not a Mummy Blogger, Lifestyle Blogger, Beauty/Fashion Blogger, Food Blogger or Travel Blogger. I am me and I blog. Sometimes I blog about Addison, sometimes about fashion, beauty crap or food, but mostly about my life. This is what makes me happiest. So therefore I hope to share more of the stuff that brought you to me initially. I feel some of that has been lost recently however a big cleanse is needed so I’m starting by saying this. I hope you enjoy my world, cause I love sharing it with y’all. xx

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