Two Things {Green Smoothies & Adult Onesies}

I am equal parts disgusted and fascinated by both. 
You see, for some bizarre reason both of these items dominated our weekend and we spent a fair amount of time discussing both. Well actually, the reason is not that bizarre. In my infinite wisdom I decided that green smoothies are going to make me all healthy and shit and I therefore spent Saturday researching them. Turns out I don’t have half the required ingredients so I made Spouse come a green huntin’ with me. At this point I should stop and say I really freaked out about combining milk with anything green and we were both in hysterics in Woolies over it. Also because I started calling them Smooties.
Hey, I told you I was a child.

Anyways….see Exhibit A.

 {Exhibit A}
I know some people do Almond Milk, but I’m allergic to nuts, and I also don’t like the idea of water in a smoothie. I’m feeling very hesitant about the whole thing to be honest. But I’m kinda hoping the added fruit will block out the green and all will be well.
I hope.

So during our green smoothie travels we came across a onesie pop up shop. That’s right. A shop full of onesies just popped up and started operating. We were at first speechless and then once again, hysterical.
I guess it’s not surprising considering it’s the newest wagon to get on but you know, shop leases aren’t cheap and onesies aren’t that expensive, so go figure if it’s profitable. Look, I’m not anti onesie. I quite like the idea of one for bed and lounging. And I’m sure they’d be good for costume parties in Winter also. But I draw the line at wearing them as actual clothes. Maybe it’s because I’m old and no longer a teenager….

{Exhibit B}

Teenagers. I say it like this, teeeennnnagers.
I mean have you seen how teenagers now wear the onesies out? And then they’re all super loud and bratty to draw even more attention to themselves. Kids, you’re wearing a giant fluffy Elmo onesie, everyone’s already looking. I don’t like teenagers. I really don’t. They’re annoying and moody and wear shorts so high I can see their bums.
I don’t like teenagers.
And I really don’t like teenagers in onesies, thinking they’re like totes YEWNICKE.
To be fair, I’m sure some older hipsters get around in onesies. I shouldn’t discriminate completely against the teens.
Maybe I’m just angry because I know what’s going to come of this…
I know exactly what’s going to happen. I’m getting to end up on this fecking bandwagon, and before you know it I’ll be sitting on my couch sipping a kale smootie wearing my new Hello Kitty onesie.
Pass the active greens.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *