My friends, I’m ending my weekly updates about my weight. They were short-lived and rightly so. My weight. I don’t want to write about it anymore. I spent a long while thinking yesterday about this, and I realised that I am simply contributing to society’s constant obsession with weight and looks. By reducing the sum of all my parts to what I weigh and what I did or didn’t do in regards to that number is not cool. I am a multi faceted maniac, who has a lot more to offer than whether or not I fit into a pair of booty shorts.
And I’m exhausted. Just completely exhausted. Exhausted by the barrage of articles on post baby bodies. Exhausted by talking about it constantly. Exhausted by slim friends telling me they’re fat. Exhausted by women eating and then saying they’re bad. Exhausted by diets and fads and regimes. So I’m just going to eat what I want within reason and keep up my exercise. I’m so miserable being constantly on a new diet. Miserable. And stressed. So I may as well be happy and just eat. I like using the food diary app I have. I like my daily walks. And I love cooking and baking. So I’m not going to deprive myself of that anymore.
And you know what? It’s boring when I post about how miserable I am. I don’t want to bore you. I want to make you laugh. I want to write about things I love and funny stories about stupid things I do; not how bad I am because I ate a Freddo Frog. My blogging, like my life has evolved post Smush. I want to use my education background to share activities. I want to write about my secret passion for organising crap. And I want to share my life with you. The good and the bad. I love writing. I adore it, and I think I’m pretty OK at it. But I don’t want it or myself to be defined by any one thing, and it seems that it is constantly my weight that is that one thing.
I’ll never be skinny. It’s not my body shape anyway, nor the one I want. I like curves. I want to be healthy and happy. I want to stop this merry-go-round and step off. I do not want my daughter thinking her mother cares only for a person’s weight. I do not want her so focused on that too. I want her to focus on health and feeling good. Not deprivation, desperation and shame.
So that’s what I’m doing today. Stepping off.