I finally bought a swimming costume last week. It’s been Summer for a month and a bit and I kept meaning to but then I had stuff to do. I used to have one but I left it in Fiji on the hotel room balcony. I really liked that swimming costume.
Anyway Spouse kept bugging me to get one so I could go swimming with him and Smushy so I relented and embarked upon the horror that is buying a cossie when you’re covered in a decent layer of insulation. First off, I don’t like change rooms. I buy my clothes online for the excellent prices and then try them on in the comfort of my home. I’ve not been wrong on any of the chosen sizing yet. Change rooms make me nervous and vulnerable. And it’s not in my head. Post birth I was trying to buy a breastfeeding bra and mid changing the shop assistant flung open the curtain, screeching about sizes and everyone saw my (very large) boobs. Seriously, why do they do that? Quit hanging about outside and let me get on with inspecting every lump and bump in the hideously accurate 3 way mirrors. I get that you have shoplifters to deal with but when I say I’m all good, please don’t take that as an invitation to cop an eyeful of my goods.
So. I was adamant that there would be no trying on. I would guesstimate and return if necessary. Spouse got all huffy in Target about this and kept trying to steer me towards the change rooms. I wasn’t having a bar of this and went and hid in the shoe section behind a price check pole. We eventually got out of there and went home, where surprise, surprise the cossie fit. Spouse said it was slimming. If looking like a tied up ham is slimming, then sure.
But then after some wise words from friends, I thought bugger it; if the world can handle the Kanye/Kim video, they can handle me in a swimming costume. And you know what? We went swimming and no one pointed and laughed, and everyone was enjoying themselves and everyone was different. And I felt silly and petty to think anyone would care about what I looked like; because no one does. (And if they do, I guess they need a life hey? Or a kick in the head.) So now I’m all about the swimming in Summer again; insulation and all.
Pool party anyone?