I have decided to make May my bitch. You know how some people take a few hours to warm up of a morning? I’m like that with years. It’s taken me 4 months to get a handle on 2015. And let’s face it, I have a pretty decent excuse for living in a cluster fuck vacuum up until this point. Hello new baby. Hello toddler and new baby. Goodbye Sleep. Goodbye Brain. However despite waking twice a night still, we’re all more settled into a routine and the sleep dep is my new normal again. I do know, that this too shall pass and at some point Squishy will sleep through just like his sister eventually did. Luckily we have a great day routine going and I know what to expect overnight. Order has somewhat returned. Somewhat.
Which brings me to the whole toddler and baby combo. Damn son. It’s a pretty rough pairing; or at least I’m finding it so. It’s guilt over not paying the second the same attention that the first got. Addison had a bathing routine; Phoenix gets a wash. Addison had scheduled tummy time complete with music; Phoenix gets chucked on the mat whilst Peppa Pig rages on in the background and Addison screams because I brushed her hair. It’s trying to meet both kid’s vastly different needs simultaneously whilst juggling the toddler’s jealously of the new sibling and their ability to turn into the devil at any moment. I’m not going to lie, there have been a few occurrences lately where I had to abort outings early due to Smushy’s less than pleasant behaviour. And believe me, I don’t take going out lightly. Us getting to the car takes 30 minutes of prep. At least. Then getting them both into the car is another shall we say, event. I’m exhausted before we even leave. So when she flips the switch in public, I gotta bounce. You know when I had Addison I thought it was the hardest thing I had ever entered in to, just navigating life with a baby I mean. But now? With two? Wow. That’s all I have to say. Perspective hey?
(Maybe I’ll have another one. Surely a third would just slip right in at this point. Would hardly notice I reckon. And if it’s a girl I can call her Piper. DIBS.)
Some days I think I’m winning at parenting and everyone is happy. Exhausted, but happy. Then other days I have to hide in the pantry and shove biscuits in my gob just to stop from screaming. It’s a balance. But I wouldn’t change it.
So May? Yeah May. I’m going to sort myself out. I’m starting to conquer the sugar and I feel better for it. I’m upping my exercise too. I’m building my Bunting business up again and even thinking of branching out into sewing some funky bibs for bubs. I’m loving blogging again and I feel like a breath of fresh air is slowly blowing into my life. Like I said, it just takes me a few months to warm up; to wake up. And I’m definitely awake these days.